Fall is my favorite season. The combination of the crisp blue skies with the turning leaves and the still green grass is spectacular. We add to that the return to the routines and rituals that get us through our new school years and long winters. The chill in the air is invigorating but not oppressive as the winter cold can sometimes be.
For me, October, also brings my birthday. At this point, I view getting older as a good thing. With each year comes the opportunity to learn more, become wiser, have more self control, self knowledge. I am entering my 4th decade. I look forward to 4 more, at least. It’s a good and hopeful place to be.
With my birthday comes my annual “state of the self” assessment. Some years, this is a more pleasant experience than others. My life has many blessings. This year my eldest daughter graduates from high school. We send her out to live her own dreams. Right now that means we spend a good deal of time with college applications and preparing to travel to auditions this winter. There is a lot to do, timelines to follow, and faith to put into practice. My other children are growing and learning and pursuing their own unique paths as well. This time is well spent; this time of supporting, encouraging, dreaming and empowering. The time with, my husband, Patrick. A healthy marriage of soon to be 18 years. Time well spent; time supporting, encouraging, dreaming, empowering and strengthening. Time we look forward to continuing for another 4 decades,as least. This is all good work. The best if you can get it. I have a good job and co-workers I enjoy.
I find myself mourning the fact that I have trouble finding time to weave right now. The thing that is most myself, as an individual woman, apart from the family we have created; is just beyond my reach. I find myself passionate about people being able to create and build; to master craftsman skills. I will support and champion anyone who wants to make a living at their craft. To me these things are a most beautiful privilege. I do not make the same sacrifices for myself. I do not champion to become a master of my own craft.
Patience. Patience… the time will come. The time spent in these other very important things is a beautiful privilege. Patience… patience… the time will come. Fight for it, I will have to do. I will have to become the champion, slaying the dragon of resistance. Patience… Patience… the time will come, and I have lots of time.
If I’m lucky though, next week will be productive. I will keep you posted.
Enjoy the colorful spectacle in the mean time,
I am a Grower — Restorer — Producer — Weaver — Artist — Encourager