After weeks of being behind in everything I am finally feeling caught up. Not ahead, I am not sure that is an attainable goal, but caught up so I can continue to move forward. It seems life always has a way of taking our most basic and promising plans and intentions and testing your resolve. . . as if taunting . . . “Do you really mean it?”
Well, yes I do.
It is funny how it doesn’t really need to be anything truly bad that happens. In my case I had a virus that left me exhausted for 2 weeks. I have been better for some time now, but the things that were left undone during that time continued to plague me. I found my goals and habits tested. Usually this would have been enough excuse to quit the whole thing. . but not this time. This time my clarity of mission gives me grit.
In the process; however, I learned a few very important lessons.
1. Sometimes you just have to let go and do “nothing” in order to find your strength and footing again. For me I took one of my mornings off and danced to African music. My kitchen floor was my drum and for an hour nothing else needed my attention. Sometimes I paint, not for the brilliant results but the act of painting. Putting down a mark, choosing color and having the confidence to go with it are all soothing to me. But dancing is so physical, and for me private. The act is refreshing. Since then I have been able to take steps forward in catching up.
2. This year I purposely took 2 days off work a week to focus on my “school work”. I really need to map this time out better in order to truly be making progress. I have made too many exceptions in allowing myself to take this time to do errands, even shopping for myself steals time.
3. When the rest of my life feels behind, I really cannot be productive in learning design and weaving. It is necessary to continue to make inroads in keeping up with our daily living so that our whole family is free to do the work to reach our goals. This is my strategy and I need to be 100% commited to it. Sometimes that may mean taking a day to intensively focus on areas that can become distractions if not attended to in a timely manner.
In other words, sometimes in order to reach your goals you have to allow yourself to put them aside for a while and then pick them up again.
More good news:
This week I wove 5 towels and got together with some lovely friends to dip yarn in a vat of indigo dye. I am so happy with the results. Really, I am happy with anything that is blue.